The Space She Left Behind
“I was living off of Mountain Dew, cannabis, adrenaline, and anxiety about my mother’s health. My younger brother and I had discussed how we would handle things if it was time for her to go.”
“I was living off of Mountain Dew, cannabis, adrenaline, and anxiety about my mother’s health. My younger brother and I had discussed how we would handle things if it was time for her to go.”
"He was into carpentry in his spare time, and always had a project. I never knew why he didn’t go into it as a career. I used to help him by handing him nails and screws and different tools. I was like his scrub nurse, but our patients were plywood and our instruments were screwdrivers and drills."
"I had a routine. I hid with my younger brother somewhere until things seemed calmer. When my parents fought, they seemed to forget we existed. So long as we were out of the way, we would usually be okay. "
"...“This is what you get for wanting a girl, Sand,” she said to herself, as if this were typical and effective behavior for simply being female. That was the year I began to resent, distrust, and grow apart from my mother."
"What Ms. S. at the after school program said was true: I wasn’t going to stay skinny forever. Funny how things stick with a child for their whole lives, yet many adults spend a lot of time convincing themselves their kids can’t hear them or aren’t listening or won’t remember."