I write about my experience as a motherless daughter and what it's like to lose something I never had, and come to terms with the fact that I never will. A mother's love is hard to compensate for.
neglect
"Everyone was desperate for attachment and connection; everyone distanced themselves from one another and stubbornly chose not to look past themselves. The house ended up becoming a jungle. Everyone had a territory and to invade that space meant conflict."
grief
“I was living off of Mountain Dew, cannabis, adrenaline, and anxiety about my mother’s health. My younger brother and I had discussed how we would handle things if it was time for her to go.”
dysfunctional family
"There was constant chatter, the haze of cigarette smoke, and the smell of alcohol on everyone’s breath filled the air between their conversations."
abuse
“She did such a great job of showing people all the pretty sides of her, and the uglier sides wore a mask so they could be pretty, too.”
mourning
“We had many conversations while I was a child, but they were one-sided. I was to sit down, shut up, and listen like a good girl. I was trained to be my mom’s best friend.”